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It's been a month since I graduated from college, 4 weeks since I received my diploma. The high that I felt as I stood on the stage with my parents has already worn off. I am now hit with the realization that, this is it. I am now in that phase of my life where everyone never fails to ask me this one question, "are you working already?" to which I always have this answer ready, "I'm going to study again. For medicine," and then comes another stream of questions like where I'm going to study and when I'm going to start. To set things straight, I am not going to go to med school straight away. I'm still going to take up extra units at another university and at the college I graduated from, as well as take the NMAT to get the score I need to get in my dream med school. It seems like I have it all figured out but I don't. I consider this as my gap year, and I feel lost.
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With the release of my final grades is a realization that I am finally done with college. Four years, eight semesters, it has been such a roller coaster ride. I dreaded my first few weeks in college because I wanted to be back to what I was used to. I felt like I won't make any friends, but I did, slowly, surely. I thought I wouldn't make it through because of algebra but I did and with grades I didn't expect. I finally felt in sync with college -- its craziness and unending challenges. College is bizarre and it does make you want to shoot yourself but despite that, I learned more than I should, more than what my curriculum required, more than what college should have taught me -- I learned to live.
|Pia Loraine P. San Felipe|
[See all my thoughts from my first year in college up to now, here!]
I have learned that when you want something, it wouldn't hurt to work really hard for it; that when someone matters to you, it's okay to show them how you feel; that when the going gets rough you gotta toughen it up and face it head on; that there are things we can't escape because sooner or later we have to face them; that when you want to do something, you shouldn't put it off because when you think you finally have enough courage for it, it might be too late to make a difference; that wanting to excel at something isn't so bad -- be a go getter, be an over achiever, be more than who you think you could be; that I shouldn't let other people validate my existence; that it's fun being by myself sometimes; that I don't need a whole battalion of people beside me, a few but very good friends will go a long way; that there's no place like home; that acceptance is the key to almost everything; and most importantly, I have learned to not settle for less than what I deserve -- sure it might take longer to be who I really want to be but it's better than settling for something and then wonder what it could possibly have been had I waited it out and tried again.
More than anything, this year made me realize that I shouldn't be in a rush because great things take time. I wanted to be a someone and it will take time. The things that I have planned out for myself should be adaptable to the lemons life may throw at me. One day I will be a someone and to be that, I have to get out of my comfort zone and let my life begin.
The future will come, as it should, which is why we should always savor the present because it will soon be in the past. Here's to new beginnings and staying in the moment. Happy new year everyone!
Pia is a twenty year old someone who wishes to be a somebody in the future. She recently just earned her bachelor's degree in Psychology and is slowly trying to adult her life through med school. She likes to believe that there is consistency in her inconsistency. Read more about her here.
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