DO I STILL HAVE HIS HEART?

11:19 PM Pia San Felipe 0 Comments

...and I wonder if he ever stops and thinks, "Man, I miss her".

Because I do. I mean, I miss you. I miss you and everything we were and everything we could have been. I miss having you beside me during lunch time; when I'm sitting on the farthest chair in the classroom and then you'd plop on the seat next to mine and just put your feet up, close your eyes and tell me, "stay there, don't go anywhere" and I'd just continue to read my economics book. I miss walking with you; when you'd wait for me on the patio and then walk beside me, that comfortable silence I've always felt and your gentle tug to get me out of the cars' way. I miss your adorableness; when I'm sitting inside the classroom, staring at the ceiling and then look at your way (since we're sitting on the same row) and see you looking at me which causes me and my seatmate to just laugh and then you'd smile and laugh along with us. I miss your sweet little surprises; that doodle in my notebook of a girl and boy with "forever" below them, that bouquet of white roses and cake on my (okay, our) birthday, and that huge red paper crane and a single stalk of red rose that you left on my table during Valentine's Day. I miss you wanting me secured; when we'd go out with friends and it's too late and you'd insist on being the one to take me home even if it is so out of your house's way. I miss the way you held my hand while I was reading you my letter the first time we ever went out alone. I miss the way you wiped my tears when I cried at McDonald's because of school. I miss the way you mouthed the "I love you" of the song 1234 by Plain White T's and looked at me straight in the eye. I miss the way you carried me on your back just because. I miss the way you patted your shoulder and motioned for me to lean on it because I looked so sleepy as we were on our way home from recollection. I miss the way you always mess with my hair. I miss everything about us (if there really was us).

I wish I can tell you how much I want to have you back and how I'd love you right if we loved again (this is very Taylor Swift-ish of me). I wish I can tell you how much I miss you, I wish I can get up and talk to you and just tell you that I love you. I wish I can but I am too afraid of how you'll react. Moreover, I am afraid of how you now feel about me. And as I always say, I love you and maybe, I always will.

[UPDATE 6/11/2015: Why did I ever think of always loving that person? Drama.]

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