4:59 AM Pia San Felipe 0 Comments

In today's era when there's so much plasticity surrounding me, I do not know who to believe anymore. It is suffocating and given the circumstance I am turning into a shiny, hard plastic doll myself. I used to be better than this, I used to tell the person straight up if I have a problem with them and not tell anyone who is not concerned with the issue so as not to create further trouble. I used to be against plasticity. I used to loathe "the plastics". The tables must have turned because look at me now, one of the people I used to despise. I have become a plastic myself.

No, I am not proud of it and I will never be. But bad habits are hard to break. Yup, you read that right, it has become a habit. It's as if my life's going to be boring if I don't hate people behind their backs or that everyday would be so base without a sprinkle of backstabbing or that a minute will be wasted without gossip; it sucks to feel this way to feel so dependent on plasticity and it may not seem like it but I am trying. Trying to get rid of this vice that I have unconsciously acquired.

Why the sudden guilt? It's because (as said in my first paragraph) I do not know who to believe anymore. I don't even know if the people I call friends really are my friends. I wonder if they also say mean things behind my back; if they are secretly annoyed when I'm around; if they are more than happy when I cannot come to certain gathering; I want to know whether or not I can trust the people I trust because I do, want to trust them I mean. I love them, the people I am around with and I want all this bullshit to end. Maybe it's time for a fresh start, I greatly hope so.