FEARS

6:04 AM Pia San Felipe 0 Comments

I’m scared of being used, being rebounded, being made to feel more than what they’re making me think; I’m scared of being hurt for the same reason. I’m scared of what I feel for you, moreover, I’m scared of what you feel for me; I’m scared of the truth. I’m scared of being lied to, being told things that means nothing; I’m scared of hoping. I’m scared of being made to feel as if I am the only one when I’m not, being like a prize, being cheated on; I’m scared of not being taken seriously. I’m scared of what we are, not knowing what we really are; I’m scared of where I stand in your life. You see, all these fears I have in me, it has all been caused by the past. I've been hurt too many times for all the reasons stated above and I could not bear to be hurt again especially when it’s because I am not enough. I know I am far from perfect, I really am. With all the flaws I have, sometimes it seems surreal to have someone look deep inside you and see you for who you really are.

I've been down this road before. That road wherein I was left hanging, abandoned in a corner just because I am not who they want me to be. Not who they expect me to be. I want to be done and over with taking that road. I’m hoping this path will lead to something new, something good, something real, and something true and not just for gags. I want to be wanted because I am needed and for a good reason. I want to be more than just that girl you can fool around with because it’s not my entirety. I want to stop being scared because someone has given me enough proof that I can start trusting and going as my heart says. My brain’s tired of telling me not to go for something because I will just get hurt and scathed in the end. I’m tired of bullshit.

0 comments: