7:36 PM Pia San Felipe 0 Comments

Sometimes when we've always been there for other people they tend to overlook that sometimes we might need them to be there for us because we sometimes feel blue too because we're also human. Sometimes I have this nagging thought that I might not be as important to other people as I thought I was because maybe I never mattered to them, maybe I was never of any worth to them. I try to think mature that people have a tendency to make you feel as though you're a worthless piece of shit but sometimes it's too much for me to handle because the people who are making me feel that way are the people that I value so much. I do try to make an effort to be with them but when I am with them it feels as though they do not want me with them. I am missing out on so much and none of them seem so willing to fill me in on the details. It's like in my circle of friends, I am the outsider; they're in the playing field and I'm sitting on the bleachers just cheering them on because there's no more room for another player; like in a group of seven, there's only a table for six. I've been trying, really trying but sometimes I feel like I have to stop because my efforts are being put to waste because none of them seems to appreciate it. And it feels like the people I wanted to grow old with doesn't want to have anything to do with me in the long run. And maybe they would get to read this or maybe they won't but I am fervently wishing that they would realize how much it hurts and would try to understand instead of making me feel bad about it. Because the truth is, I can't smile and play along anymore because I am tired. So tired of always being there for others and no one being there for me.